Why do other intelligent people make me feel like an idiot? Yes, I said other intelligent people. I like to think of myself as intelligent. I was cruising around, sifting through other blogs and realized... wow! Some of these people are real thinkers. What am I even doing? Why bother putting my mundane, trite thoughts into words? I hate that I start to undermine myself before I have even had a chance to begin.
When I was in therapy I learned that these are my problems to deal with. If I am angry it is my problem. If I feel insecure it is also my problem. This is, by the way, just about all I took out of therapy. I still feel crazy some days, but apparently that's my problem. So, time to cowboy up and deal with this. It is no one's fault but my own that I feel like less. I am not going to let that stop me. On the contrary, it is going to fuel me. There! Do I feel better? I just feel silly really.
I am sitting here, staring at the computer screen with my false sun (sun lamp) on. The day is gloomy so I am trying to convince my brain it is getting honest-to-God sunlight, but no one here is fooled. I am obsessed with the ticking clock. Time is just sifting away so quickly. I become so paralyzed with the idea that I am not using time to it's fullest, that I just don't do anything. I know, I know. Sitting here at the computer isn't exactly living life to the fullest. It has its uses though. Some days it can galvanize me into going out and tackling the world... or at least the grocery store.
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I think many would disagree with the computer comment. The internet can be worse than the TV-Timesucker. Also, you can learn a lot on the internet. I like fake sun. Many things are my problem, particularly, cat vomit on my rug, getting another year older, and icy sidewalks. But I always think it is worthwhile expel your thoughts. Every intelligent person is going to run into someone more intelligent than them, it doesn't make them stupid! Have a fabulous day.
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